{Hidden Baby Chronicles} Week 8 - A Raspberry

May 8, 2014

This was a very exciting week.  We had our first OB appointment and got to see our little peanut in an ultrasound- but more on that later.  Things are getting real here, people! 

I think it's about time that I switch over to one of those more standard pregnancy survey forms for the rest of these weekly updates... now that more is actually starting to happen with this pregnancy.  So here goes:

Photo Thoughts:  Full disclosure.  Basically in every weekly photo so far, you might have noticed I've been wearing loose-fitting, flowy tops.  If I had instead chosen a t-shirt, you would for sure be seeing some bloat that could definitely be mistaken for a bump.  Which is exactly why I've been avoiding wearing clothes like that so far.  I'm definitely experiencing that lovely symptom of pregnancy bloat, and I'm not ready to show that off.  Once something more "bump-like" appears, I'll put it on display. 

How I'm Feeling: Pretty great still.  A very small (minuscule) part of me kind of wishes I was experiencing some of those miserable 1st trimester symptoms that a supposed 3/4 of preggos experience.  But I mostly am just glad to (so far... knock on wood) be missing out on those lovely things. 

Baby/Bump:  This week our baby is the size of a raspberry and is growing about a millimeter a day- grow baby, grow!  The best news though, is that his/her tail has finally disappeared- phew.  That would've been weird...

 



Symptoms:  As I mentioned above, very few... at least, very few of the unpleasant ones.  I've noticed that in the evenings (around dinner time and after), I have some very vague feelings of nausea.  Nothing serious, but I tend to sit down to dinner and whatever is in front of me just doesn't seem very appealing.  I get most of it down without any problem, but I'm basically just not too interested in eating by that time of day.  The cramps that I was experiencing the past few weeks have become less frequent, but still in the early mornings or evening if they do show up.  If I get up too quickly from sitting, I get very dizzy and see stars- so that's fun.  Still having some freaky weird dreams.  Oh, and it's official- I can't sleep through the night any more without getting up once to pee.  I always thought that that happened later in pregnancies when the baby was bigger and taking up bladder room, but apparently, it's common in the first trimester, too. 

Weight: + 2.  This regular weight gain will take some getting used to... vain, I know, but still.  And it doesn't help that I was up about ten pounds (I blame it on Australia) from where I am most comfortable when I got pregnant. 

What I'm Anticipating: I'm so excited for the Mother's Day pregnancy reveal that I have planned for my mom and dad!  Can't wait- I'm almost positive they have NO idea!

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: Not too much.  Seeing that strong heartbeat blinking away on the ultrasound provided me with a huge amount of reassurance. 

Cravings/Aversions:  Nothing specific that I crave or can't stand.  Just a general "indifference" to anything food-related in the evenings. 

Sleep: No problems sleeping at all!  Just the new once per night wake up to use the bathroom, but I am always able to fall right back asleep. 

Exercise: Still sticking strong to my 5-6 days a week workout schedule.  Haven't had any problems with this yet, but I have noticed that my endurance for running has really decreased already. 

Movement: WAY too early for this.  Although supposedly, the baby has begun wiggling his/her arms and legs already.  Crazy!

Boy or Girl: Also WAY too early for this.  But yes, we will find out when that time comes.

Milestones: I bought my first baby onesie this past weekend- it was a "I Love My Grandparents" onesie for my parents that I'll give to my mom on Mother's Day.  It was exciting to buy something cute and tiny that my baby will wear someday... but I also got very overwhelmed in the store and left quickly. 

Highlights of the Week: Our First Prenatal/OB Appointment!  I was the stereotypical uptight first time pregnant girl with the two page typed list of questions for my doctor (this was my first time meeting him).  I was worried that I would have a hard time finding a doctor that I liked and whose philosophies lined up with what I was looking for.  But I really lucked out!  My OB spent a good two hours with us, he answered all of my questions thoroughly- never once making me feel hurried, and he is pretty much right in line with what I was looking for as far as philosophies on interventions, delivery, etc.  Huge relief! 

They ran me through the typical screenings- vitals, pee in a cup, blood work, medical history, etc.  And then it was finally time for the much anticipated ultrasound!  I actually wasn't 100% sure that we would get to do this at the first appointment, but I was hopeful.  I had a major case of butterflies in my stomach as he rolled the machine into the room and got things set up.  He mentioned that at this point, it was still somewhat early in the pregnancy and he isn't always able to detect the heartbeat at this point but not to be alarmed if that was the case.  However, it was probably less than a minute before he found the baby AND what he called "a very strong heartbeat."  We didn't have the machine that let us hear it, but we could sure see it flickering away.  Of course, I teared up when I saw our baby alive and well... and when I saw the big smile spread across David's face.  I was surprised that I wasn't a crying mess though.  Just a few tears in my eyes and what I'm sure was a huge, goofy smile.  The doctor measured the baby at about 1.50 cm. and said that that was right on track.  This was such an amazing experience, and I'm so glad David was there with me.  It's absolutely incredible to know that a little life is growing in my belly... and in a short seven months, he/she will be in our arms!  I'm sure this is a moment I will always remember.  This made things very real, and now I am even more excited! 

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 7 Weeks - A Blueberry

May 1, 2014

We are moving on up in the baby/food size comparison, and this week baby is the size of a blueberry!  According to my various sources (The Bump app, "What To Expect..."), little blueberry is growing 100 new brain cells per minute this week, and is even starting to sprout some stubby looking arms and legs! 

Just like last week, I felt a sense of relief just to be another week further along.  I still can't shake this nagging sense of worry that something might go wrong.  So at this point, it's just a big relief to get further along and put each week behind me.  I do know that I should focus on being more positive and enjoying this experience, and I am trying, but I think I just may be this way for a few more weeks though- regardless. 

Exciting Moment Of the Week:
I've started to plan my "big reveal" for telling my parents.  David was supportive of me wanting to tell just my parents after our first OB appointment next week- so I will tell them on Mother's Day!  I can't wait!  And I'm so thankful that David was understanding of my desire to share our news with just my parents at that point, since if something bad does happen (God forbid), I know it will be important for me to have their support.  I think we will hold off until I'm out of my first trimester (about 12 weeks) to tell the rest of our families and slowly start letting friends in on the big news.

Symptoms:
I've been experiencing pretty consistent cramping each morning and evening.  Sometimes it's pretty uncomfortable, but I keep reading that it is normal, so I'm not too worried about it.  If nothing else, it's kind of nice to have some sort of sign that "things are happening" in there.  When I read that my uterus has already doubled in size, I guess it makes sense that I'd be feeling lots of stretching/cramping in there!  I had one morning this week where I was getting ready for work and suddenly felt very hot and clammy and had a severe wave of nausea wash over me.  I spent some time hugging the toilet thinking, "oh no, here we go..."  But I cranked the AC on high, tried to force down some ice water and felt much better after about 20 minutes.  So far, that is still just a one time occurrence.  Let's hope it stays that way, because that 20 minutes was not fun! 

Epiphany of the Week: Earlier in the week, I went to my favorite paper store to stock up on mother's day cards for all the moms/grandmothers in my life.  At checkout, the cashier asked if I was a mom.  I kind of didn't really know how to respond and just stuttered, "... ummmm.... no... not yet..." Of course that made things awkward, and so she just said that she was going to wish me a happy mother's day if I was.  So that got me thinking that I guess this could possibly be considered my first mother's day!  Sure, next year it will all be much more real, but I guess this does still count in some way! 

Center: Holding An Itty Bitty Blueberry



{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 6 Weeks - A Sweet Pea

April 24, 2014

Well as of today, I am officially housing a sweet pea. 

And according to my sources (The Bump and What To Expect When You're Expecting), my little sweet pea apparently already is starting to sprout a nose, eyes, ears, and chin, and cheeks.  How crazy is that?! 

I was pretty excited to get to six weeks... it just seems a little bit more legit/official in the pregnancy progress department to me.  I mentioned to my friend Kim that I hate to feel this way, but I really am kind of just wishing away/hoping these next 4-6 weeks or so just speed by.  I still just have so much anxiety and fear about this very "sensitive stage" of pregnancy.  I know the chances are much more in favor of things proceeding just as they should, but I just have this fear that this might not "stick."  She reassured me though, and gave me some of the best advice/words of wisdom that I've heard.  She said, "your body knows exactly what to do."  For some reason that just made me feel a lot better.  It's so true.  There is nothing really that I can do to control what will or won't happen at this point. So I just need to trust that my body knows what to do and relax for crying out loud. 

Exciting Moment Of the Week:  Telling my friend Kayli the news.  I think I really surprised her.  She is one of the few (we're talking like 2 people) that knew we were "trying," so I wanted to let her in on the news.  I Facetimed her and held up a can of Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper thinking she might realize the significance of a DDP-obsessed person like me switching to (gasp, the horror) caffeine free.  She didn't quite catch on to that, so I just ran to the bathroom and held up the pee stick.  Then it clicked.  It was so fun to see her reaction, and so nice to have someone else to spill the beans to... I've been bursting to talk about it this week.

On My Mind:  The usual worries about something going wrong (broken record, I know).  Also, I'm so anxious for my first doctor appointment at 8 weeks.  It's so weird to have so few symptoms, that I start to doubt that I'm actually pregnant sometimes.  I have two pregnancy tests left, and I have to resist the urge to use them each day, just for some extra reassurance.  Those things don't last forever though, and I'd hate to see them go to waste ;-), so I plan to do another test/calm myself down at week 7, and then maybe the day before my appointment.  Psychotic/neurotic, I know.  Sue me. 

Pregnant Moment:  None really.  Oh, except I went to Easter brunch with my aunt and cousins and everyone had mimosas.  I hadn't really prepped for this, so I ordered one and took maybe two small sips (again, sue me), and then just hoped no one would really notice that I didn't finish it.  Didn't seem to be an issue at all! Phew!  It was tough to restrain my impulse to just down it though...

It's also surreal to begin reading my new "What To Expect..." book.  I can't believe this book applies to me now!  It's been really interesting to learn more about what is happening with my body at each stage.

Why yes, I guess I am...

Symptoms: As I mentioned before, not many.  I've heard and read that morning sickness often kicks in around 6-8 weeks, so I'm really hoping I can avoid that lovely experience.  So far the only real symptoms I have are some mild cramping... a little worse this week than last, some other not so lovely digestive issues, and some enhancement in the chest region (!), and starting to feel that "first trimester exhaustion." I don't think mine is as bad as what I've read about so far, but throughout the day I seriously cannot stop yawning.  I feel like the rudest person ever.  A co-worker actually called me out on it the other day.  Oops.  I'm so not a napper though (maybe I'll get there soon though?), but I have noticed that I need to lay down for about 10 minutes when I get home from work, and although I still stay up way too late, I can barely hold my eyes open at my usual time anymore, so maybe my bedtime needs to be adjusted.  Oh, one more thing- I've been having some wacky dreams.  That's been going on for 2-3 weeks though.  I can't really remember too many details of my dreams, but I wake up feeling just kind of creeped out by whatever just happened in my dreams.  Strange. 

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} Big Fat Positive

April 11, 2014

This was a day that I will always remember.  It was one of those days where you are very aware that something very significant that will mark a huge change in the rest of your life is occurring.  It's actually been a few days since my big fat positive on April 11, but I wanted to make sure I took the time to sit down and record the events of this day, as it is sure to be a very memorable one in the story of our lives. 

April 11 was a Friday, my sister's birthday actually.  I had taken the day off of work since we were planning on leaving to drive to Austin that afternoon for my race.  I wanted to have some extra time to pack, do some last minute errands, go on one last run, etc.  I had decided earlier in the week that I would take a pregnancy test that day, even though I wasn't due to start my period until Sunday, since we had plans to meet up with some friends for dinner and drinks in Austin that night.  I wanted to make sure I was in the clear for some pre-race adult beverages.  I didn't really put much thought into the fact that I would test that day.  I was pretty convinced that I was not pregnant- just thought I better check it off the list.  This was actually only the second month that we had been "trying," and for whatever reason, I had it in my mind that this would likely take us quite a few months. 

I woke up that morning, went on one last run before my race on Sunday, and ran some errands.  By the time I got home, I was already running short on time, and I hadn't even started packing yet.  I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday, and started unloading groceries.  I hung up with my sister, went and grabbed a test from the bathroom, peed, set the test behind the box so I wouldn't be tempted to peek, and then went back into the kitchen to continue unloading groceries.  I noted the time and started getting a little stressed that I still had a lot to do before David would be home from work and ready to leave for Austin.  I headed back toward the bathroom.  I did pause for a quick second before I moved the box aside so I could see the test.  It was one of those, "is this it?" moments.  But I was sure it wasn't "it."  I moved the box aside, grabbed the test, and saw a faint blue line.  I had to grab the directions to verify the correct reading of these tests... even thought it's pretty straight forward, and I had indeed taken these types of tests before.  "A second line means pregnant!"  I thought to myself in a minor panic.  I actually then put it down on the counter, left the bathroom and calmly headed into our room to start packing like nothing had just happened.  I was definitely in shock, and not really processing anything at that point.  Just a few seconds later, after packing absolutely nothing, I grabbed my iPad and FaceTimed my friend, Kim.  Kim is one of the only people who even knew we were trying, and she had been such a support and encouragement to me- answering questions, offering advice, etc.  We don't ever really FaceTime so I think she thought it was a little odd I had called.  She asked if her son Cooper had accidentally called me on her phone.  I assured her he had not.  We chatted for a couple minutes, before I finally burst and told her that I had just taken a pregnancy test, and I help up the test.  I said something like, "I'm here all alone, the line is kind of faint, and I just need someone else's opinion."  She was so excited and assured me that that line was most definitely not a faint line.  That was when I started shaking and getting a little teary.  Although, surprisingly, being a huge crier usually, I didn't ever really cry all that much.  She calmed me down a little bit, congratulated me, and told me to go call my doctor. 

Somehow after that, I managed to be calm and not think about it all that much so that I could pack for the weekend.  The whole time though, I was calculating how soon David would be home, and how I quickly would need to call my doctor before he got home and also come up with a cute way to tell him the news.  I got a hold of my GP's nurse who gave me the number for an OB in their practice.  I spoke to that nurse who was very nice and congratulatory.  I mostly just wanted to ask her if it was OK for me to run the ten mile race that I had been training for that was just two days away.  She assured me that it was and cautioned me that if I had any cramping to just slow down.  She also set me up for an appointment with the doctor at week 8. 

David actually came home during the middle of that call, so I just moved out into the apartment hallway to finish that call without him overhearing the whole thing.  I was shocked at how easily I was able to act completely normal once David got home.  We finished packing up the car, and hit the road for Austin.  So basically at that point, I had about three hours to decide how I wanted to tell David that I was pregnant.  I was a little bit sad at that point that I didn't have more time to put more thought into it, go out and buy a onesie or something, or otherwise create something more "Pinterest-worthy."  And I was also a little sad that we would be around his family and friends that weekend so we'd have to be very secretive about it even though the news was so fresh and exciting.  I was coming up short on ideas for something cute/creative on such short notice.  I was texting with Kim on our drive over there and she asked me when my last period was so that she could calculate my due date.  I gave her the info, and she sent me back this:

According to this calculator, our due date would be December 18.  Our 4th Anniversary!  What are the odds?  That was when I decided to use one of the photos of the positive test I had taken on my iPhone and just use on of those write-over apps to write "Happy 4th Anniversary" over the photo.  I did all of this with David sitting right next to me in the driver's seat.  When we arrived at his parents' house, we only had about 45 minutes before we needed to leave for dinner.  We went upstairs to get changed and freshened up, and I told him I wanted to show him something on my phone.  He came over, took the phone from my hand, looked at the photo, and said, "Whose is that?  It's not our anniversary...."  He was pretty confused.  Once I helped him figure out what was going on, we just hugged and I filled him in quickly on what had happened that day.  We then had to rush out to dinner, but it was still a special, very memorable moment. 

After dinner with friends, David and I had some time to kill before picking up his sister, Renee, at the airport so we walked around downtown Austin a little bit and went into a few bars.  It was a beautiful night, and it was fun to finally be alone to talk a little bit more about our big news.  David was so happy and excited.  At one of the bars we went to, it was so cute to see how excited he was to tell the bar tender that I had just found out I was pregnant and could he please make me a preggo-safe drink.  It was awesome to see how excited/proud he was to tell a random stranger.  And I actually did get some really good alcohol free drinks.  It turned out to be a really fun night for the two of us to celebrate our big news! 

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 5 Weeks - An Appleseed

April 17, 2014

Tried a new location for photos this week... not feeling it.  Also, there is an fact a tiny appleseed in each of my hands...

I am officially 5 weeks pregnant today- a little over a month.  That's crazy to me- especially since it hasn't even been a week yet since I found out.  This week my baby has moved up from a poppy seed to a whopping apple seed. 
Isn't he/she cute?!

 

-Epiphany of the Week: Yep, still pregnant.  Duh. Not really an epiphany, but I did break down and take another (my third) pregnancy test.  Since I really don't have many symptoms at all, I think I just needed some reassurance.  That line was full on bright blue before I even had time to put the cap on the test.  That was definitely reassuring!  I guess it just still hasn't really sunk in yet...

-Symptoms: Hardly any at all.  Which again, worries me for some reason.  I have had some mild cramping off and on, but apparently that is very normal.  Still pretty yawn-y during the day, but I don't actually feel all that tired. 

-On My Mind: It's weird to go about my everyday life, work, etc. knowing that I am pregnant and not having anyone else know.  It's especially a strange feeling when I talk to family or friends on the phone.  Inevitably I get the question, "so anything new going on with you?"  It's hard to answer, "Nope, same old, same old."  We haven't really decided yet when we will tell family and then when we will tell friends and the general public... but I can see how it will get harder and harder to keep the secret as time goes on.  Although, it is kind of fun too to have this little secret all to ourselves for a while longer. 

-Notable Happenings From Last Week: I purchased my first case of CAFFEINE FREE Diet Dr. Pepper (and yes, in my world, this is indeed a notable happening).  And much to my surprise, I was happy to find that it really didn't taste anywhere near as awful as I had expected it to.  This will be a much easier change to make than I thought- phew. 



{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 4 Weeks & Some Initial Thoughts & Ramblings

April 14, 2014 - 4 Weeks, 5 Days

I don't really know how else to start off, other than just by coming out and saying it- I'm pregnant.  Preggo.  Preggers.  What?!  It's so surreal even to just type out those words.  Something that I've dreamed about, wondered about, and sometimes even worried about is actually a reality now. 

Apparently I have a little poppy seed baking away in my belly.  Grow, poppy seed, grow!

For as much as I've thought about this time in my life, I'm still surprised how surreal (and really unreal) it feels.  Even just saying those words, "I'm pregnant" makes my heart beat quickly and I get nervous and excited all at once.  As much as I imagined that this would happen someday, I guess I actually really couldn't picture or imagine it.  Still can't, really.  It's truly a mix of emotions- excited, nervous, scared, thankful, hopeful... and on and on. 

I feel good- totally normal.  Which of course makes me logically conclude that something must be wrong.  I'm really struggling a lot more than I thought I would with staying positive and not letting my head "go there."  I always had a nagging, unfounded fear in the back of my head that maybe I wouldn't be able to get pregnant or would have to really struggle to get here.  And now that I was blessed enough to have become pregnant after only two months "trying," you would think I would be nothing but excited and thrilled. Which I am.  But part of me also thinks ridiculous things like, "well it was just too easy, something surely has to go wrong now."  How morbid of me, I know.  But I can't help it.  I know it's nothing I can control, and I just need to relax and think positively, but it's a lot harder of a task than I thought. 

I have definitely had those wow moments where I just stop and think what a miracle this is- a little poppy seed growing furiously inside my body.  You just can't deny that it really is magical to know that there is a little person growing that I will get to meet in eight months or so.  It's fun and exciting to share this special secret with my husband and to go about my daily life with no one knowing our little secret.  We spend lots of time dreaming, planning, and wondering.  I know I sound like a total cheeseball, but it's true.  However, despite that magic, I am finding it really difficult not to let the doubt and fear and "what ifs" creep in.  The fear is real, unfortunately.  It keeps me from getting too excited.  It makes me more cautious and less hopeful.  But I try not to let it completely get out of control.  I think I'm doing an OK job so far. 

I am counting down the days though until my first OB appointment (May 6).  I think that hearing confirmation from my doctor, and even better hearing (maybe even seeing) the heartbeat will be such a relief.  I hate to rush through these first weeks, but I really just want time to pass quickly until I get to a "safer" place and time.  THEN time can slow down.  I get to control that, right? 

As far as symptoms go, I feel almost 100% like a non-pregnant person at this point.  The only thing really even worth noting is that my boobs (my optimistic B's) are on the up and up.  Which isn't hard to do.  That was actually my first hint the day before I decided to test.  I just chalked it up to the weight gain I was still hanging onto from Australia though.  This is probably the only "symptom" that I hope continues! :-) 

On the symptoms note... I've had a "mommy blog" secret addiction for years now.  I've always loved reading mommy blogs- especially pregnancy progress posts.  No idea why, but I just found it fascinating.  While reading those posts, I've always debated about the level of detail I would eventually share when it came to my own symptoms, body changes, etc.  In many aspects of my life, I tend to be more of a private person, but in other aspects (as many of my friends can attest), I can also tend to be a total over-sharer.  So I guess I'm not really sure where I will fall with this... wait and see what happens I guess. I apologize to any friends and family if I've already crossed over to the TMI category.  Forgive me?  Go easy on me? 

That's all for now!  Oh, let me just say it one more time- I'm pregnant! Ack!

Left: No, that's not a baby bump already- just a poor choice on a flowy top.  Center: That's a positive pregnancy test I'm holding, FYI. Right: My race loot from the 10 mile run I completed 2 days after finding out I was pregnant!



Surprise!

 

 

It's official! Christmas is coming early this year (Dec. 18, to be exact)!  I'm 20 weeks along and SO excited to finally have the secret out. 

Please forgive me while I go all "mommy blog" on you for the next couple weeks and post all of the "Hidden Baby Chronicles" posts I've been hoarding.